he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
