I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
