you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
