Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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