Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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