Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
