I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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