wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
