Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
