I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
