I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
