You really coming over, don't trick.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
