i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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