omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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