so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
