I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
