Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
