Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
