You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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