I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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