girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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