I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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