Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
