Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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