i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
