Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
