That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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