i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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