I got chris browned last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
