Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
