dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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