they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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