so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
