but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
