why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
