Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
