Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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