Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
