My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
