You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
