dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
