no you cant smoke seaweed
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
