the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
