Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
