Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
