I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
