3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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