there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
