so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
