when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
