I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
