After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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