I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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