Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's rum buckets o'clock
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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